It was the fall of 2002 and I was fortunate enough to be on the staff at the Cleveland Museum of Art when John Ewing, the guy in charge of films, managed to get Spike Lee to preview his newest film, an HBO documentary, “Jim Brown: All-American”, there.  Both Spike Lee and Jim Brown would be on hand for the screening.  As soon as I read the all-staff email announcing this exciting news, I called Jeremy in the Performing Arts to offer my services for the day.  It was a well-known fact that I was the most rabid Browns fan on staff plus, Jeremy knew, I worked for Special Events long enough to have skills that could prove valuable to the success of the event.  He assured me he would find a place for me that day and he thanked me for volunteering.

Sure enough, Jeremy did not let me down.  The job he assigned me was that of “guest handler” (or something to that effect).  In that position, I would be cueing Mr. Brown and Mr. Lee to wait backstage and subsequently let them know when to go on stage.  In the meantime, I would wait in the Green Room with them assuredly having the opportunity to meet and possibly have some conversation.   Oh good God, Jeremy had definitely come through!

Years prior to this, DawgyLama and I, in a fervor of Browns fever brought about by the Browns return to Cleveland, had decided that our stunning new stadium needed a statue honoring our greatest player, the greatest NFL player of all-time, according to ESPN’s “Sports Century” amongst others.  We were wise enough to realize that proposing such a thing would open arguments regarding Mr. Brown’s nasty personal past.  We felt that, especially as women, we couldn’t expect this to be overlooked by the people of the city that would host this statue.  Though Jim Brown’s accomplishments as a football player made him worthy of immortalization of this sort, it was extremely understandable that many would not want this man casting a shadow over the Browns or the city for all time.

So, I endeavored to educate myself on this complicated person.  I read everything I could find including his oft-times difficult autobiography.  The difficulty arose from his treatment of the subject of women, only part of which could be attributed to the era in which it was written.  Still, I pushed forward, watching interviews and reading more current information about this very powerful man.  In the meantime, he had been brought up on further charges by his latest wife for beating her car with a shovel.  While imprisoned briefly for this offense he went on a well-publicized hunger strike.  He certainly wasn’t going to make this easy.

I wrote him a letter to tell him what Lama and I were going to propose to the Browns and start a push to have the statue created.  I informed him that we knew we would need his help because neither of us felt capable of representing his point of view in the debate that was almost sure to ensue.  He never wrote back and we shelved the idea.

During this time, I had a few dreams about meeting Jim Brown.  In one of them I was standing in line at a movie theatre when he appeared.  I introduced myself and the dream ended there.  As the day of the screening at CMA approached, I recalled this vision with amazed delight for now I was sure to have the chance of meeting Jim Brown at a film-related event.  The cinematic synergy brought me a sense of “reel” satisfaction.

The day prior to the event, I had a brief meeting with Jeremy.  By this point, a second screening had been added to accommodate those desiring tickets.  Each screening would be followed by a “Question and Answer” session with the audience.  I was given an itinerary of the two guests that included their hotel accommodations and Jim Brown’s home address and phone number.  “Wow.”, I thought to myself, “I must really love my job not to be tempted to use this information for some selfish purpose!”  The next morning, a Saturday, I awoke early and dressed myself in what I felt was an appropriate outfit, an all brown ensemble sans orange helmet (only because I wanted to remain somewhat professional).

There was a buzz around the museum as I checked in and got my instructions from Jeremy.  Then I waited for the arrival of our celebrity guests.  When they entered the Green Room, I was struck by a strong sensation of surrealism.  Here I was, a mere 10 feet from the greatest NFL player of all time and, as an afterthought, a pretty famous movie director too.  As I was introduced to them, I feigned aloofness; I did not want to appear eager or opportunistic.  ;)  Jim Brown shook my hand firmly in a friendly manner as I assured him, coolly, that it was a great pleasure to meet him.  Spike Lee met my aloof approach with complete and utter disinterest.  I showed them to a couch, gave them a brief overview, offered them something to drink, and left them alone.  The names Halle and Denzel were mentioned along with some news about each in the way we mere mortals discuss our mutual friends with each other.  I tried not to eavesdrop- too much.

When I received the first cue to bring them backstage, I led them to the dark area behind the curtain.  After fiddling with my radio for fear of missing my cue, I looked up to find my flashlight had been pointed at Jim Brown’s groin the entire time I had been testing my technology.  I suppressed an anxiety-laden laugh and was relieved when they were introduced to the audience and took their seats to watch the film.  I managed to catch a good portion of it before having to return to the Green Room.  I watched the Q&A session peeking from behind the curtain.  The majority of the questions were addressed to Jim Brown by young African-American men who were seeking his guidance.  Both guests were patient and offered their anecdotes with sagacity and wit.

Between shows, they were to attend a dinner in the Trustees Conference Room.  A security guard came to escort them to that location.  That same guard came back to say that Donna Brock, our Director of Marketing and a woman I was on good terms with despite her being a Ravens fan, had asked for him to invite me to come and eat! 

Most of the diners had already prepared their plates and were seated when I arrived.  I don’t know how I managed to get food on my plate or how I even kept the plate in my shaking hand.  I am sure I was clumsy about taking my seat next to Spike Lee and across from Jim Brown.  There were four other people at the table, one of them being Reggie Rucker.  I had the occasion to ask Spike Lee to pass the cream and, as if he were just another human, he did.  Lee, Brown, and Rucker chatted amongst themselves at first but Spike, anxious to visit a sick uncle, hurried through his dinner and left.

The conversation opened up and the topic of football arose.  Jim Brown was commenting on the Browns’ frustrating running game.  “I don’t know who the running back coach is…”, he started.  “Todd McNair”, I inserted.  He gave me an appreciative glance and continued, “…but he’s not teaching these kids how to run. They juke around too much.”  I laughed, and told him, “Yeah, watching James Jackson run makes me want to pull my teeth out.”  With this, he gave me one of those Jim Brown grins and we settled into more football talk.  We maintained eye contact throughout the conversation.  It was clear he knew who in the room was hearing him.  And, I did not shy away.  I knew I understood him as well as I could and was nothing but interested in learning more.  When John Ewing expressed admiration for Jim’s 5.2 yards per rush lifetime average, Jim responded thoughtfully, finishing with a statement that will stay with me forever, “I never let anyone distract me from my will.”  He was looking directly at me and I gave him my most self-assured knowing nod and grin.  Reggie Rucker attempted to change the conversation and seemed to be apologizing for the football focus but Jim assured him that he enjoyed the discussion especially since, looking at me; “This is obviously an intelligent and knowledgeable woman.”  I am sure my self-satisfied smile must have lit the room.

Then Donna attempted to insert her agenda by asking Jim Brown if he’d be interested in helping the Art Museum with some public relations work.  Jim informed her that his plate was rather full and he spoke of having his own agenda that he was determined to stick to.  Before the dinner was over, I was brave enough to mention my letter and the reason for it.  Again, Jim stated that it was not part of his purpose.  There was no disappointment for me, only the feeling of complete understanding.

Back in the Green Room, we were talking about helping young kids get by in this world.  I mentioned that I had taken my nephew in a couple months earlier and he told me it was the most important work in the world.  Before the next show started, I had a chance to get some autographs and have my picture taken with him.  He put his arm around me and I put my arm on his rock hard back.  I remarked about the shape he was still in and he told me that age meant nothing to him.  I felt, for an instant, as if I was standing on equal footing with this man.  I had gained his respect and felt I understood him a little better.  I wanted nothing more.

As I shared this story with other Browns fans, I heard the typical remarks about being lucky that he didn’t throw me off a balcony or something.  I didn’t bother to tell those people about the experience in detail; I let them have their close-minded uneducated opinions.  I had had dinner with Jim Brown and he spoke to me and I to him.  I had made meeting him my goal and let nothing distract me from my will.

iambrown: always have been, always will be.