This Thanksgiving weekend finds Browns tight end Kellen Winslow more grateful than ever before.

He survived a motorcycle accident in May that could've killed him - or at least robbed him of his dream to play professional football.

But the accident, the subsequent surgery to repair a season-ending torn anterior cruciate ligament and the career-threat ening staph infection that followed have been life-changing.

"Actually, this has been a good thing for me," Winslow said before practice on Wednesday. "God has blessed me in so many ways, and I'm starting to understand why He did this."

For starters, Winslow got engaged to his high school sweetheart, Janelle Guzman, about four months ago.

"We've been together since we were 14, and she deserves that," said Winslow, 22. "It was love at first sight, and we've been together since day one. She's been with me through all of this, and I couldn't do it without her."

Winslow said Guzman has guided him toward religion, and it's helped him deal with his situation. "Janelle is very religious, and we read the Bible together a lot," he said. "I don't really understand it yet, but I'm getting there. We talk about that kind of stuff a lot."

Winslow said the accident is "God's way of telling me to be patient. Everything my whole career has been progress, progress, progress. Now, I have to take time out and view everything from a different perspective."

He said, ironically, the time away has helped him grow closer to his teammates.

"I've really bonded with them," said Winslow. "Right after practice when they come off the field, we always talk. I'm closest to the DBs [defensive backs]. I like to talk mess to them. We play video games together all the time, and I've gotten to know them so much better."

He said the experience has humbled him.

"It's matured me a lot and I'm going to keep maturing," said Winslow. "It's all about how bad do you want it? How bad do you want to come back?

"I've always had an appreciation for the game, but when I get out there, you'll see how much I appreciate it, because I'll play every play like it's my last," he said.

He said having the game almost ripped from his life was devastating. After all he had been through - from the accident and surgery - he had to overcome a staph infection that penetrated the joint, which can be career-threatening. He lost almost 30 pounds and looked gaunt and pale in July.

"I love this game more than any boy can," said Winslow. "I've been wanting to play this game since I was 4. As soon as I was born, my dad put me in a Chargers jersey and all of that. So I've been wanting to do this my whole life, nothing else.

"But before this happened, I never thought I'd get hurt. I thought I was invincible. Now, I know how much it means."

He said he loves that people doubt whether he'll return - or be the player he once was. He hasn't played since the second week of the 2004 season when he suffered a broken right fibula and an ankle injury that required two surgeries.

"Just keep on doubting me, because I love that," he said. "It fuels me. It makes me even more determined to prove people wrong."

He said watching receiver Braylon Edwards become a playmaker has made him want it even more.

"It's frustrating knowing what you could be doing out there, but it will come," said Winslow. "Next season, when we have Antonio Bryant, Braylon, myself, Reuben Droughns, what are they going to do? They're going to have to double somebody, and somebody else is going to kill them. It's going to be a lethal attack."

He said his ankle is 100 percent, and he's ahead of schedule on his knee - about 75 percent back - and that he'll be ready for spring practices. He's also agreed to a new contract that enables him to make up most of his lost money and extends his contract a year.

"At first I was down and I cried sometimes," said Winslow. "But now it's all smiles. I see light at the end of the tunnel. It's all good now."

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